Once, there was a girl, and still is, named Jenni. She was a tall girl and a shy girl and an unassuming girl, and she had a deep voice and deep blue eyes to match. But, this story isn't really about her, so there's no need to go on about all that. It's about her lonely friend that lived in a loft, and still does, above the garage of her parents house. Her name was, and still is, Eevawn. She was a lovely girl, but only in appearance. She had, and still does, a lovely smile, and dark, mesmerizing eyes and lovely tangled hair that could make you just want to run your fingers through it. And, most of all, she had a lovely nose with a pretty nose ring in it. But, none of that matters except for the pretty nose ring which doesn't have a lot to do with this story. If you like nose rings, then you would appreciate this added bit of information to this rather curious tale. And, no need to say still does or still is, either, because you most likely get the point by now. Oh, and there was one more thing about the girl that you might find interesting. You might have never figured it out just by looking at her, but Eevawn had the voice of an angel. She wouldn't like to be compared to such things as angels, because she never believed in all that Heavenly minded stuff. Such a shame, too, because, as you know, life isn't forever, and wouldn't you just hate to get to the end of it and still believe in the silly idea that there was nothing on the other side? But, let's desist from all this meandering and get back to the story.
So, as things usually went, or go (oops), with the two girls, they set off on the adventure of the day. And as fate would have it, they went frolicking through the woods searching for the lost land of the hippies that they so adored and thought was the answer to all mankind's ills. And, not surprisingly, they found just what they were looking for. There they were, hippies, beatniks and gypsies all leaping about like long haired gnomes high on mind altering drugs and laughing and singing songs about how they got over on "the man" and also songs about "what's mine is yours and what's yours is mine even your wife". Jenni and Eevawn merrily made their way to the raucous but cheery group. They were so excited about joining in on the festive activities and jollity,and the group of misfits openly welcomed them, because they readily accepted them without question.
Jenni and Eevawn had so much fun joining hands with the merry bunch and dancing and singing and laughing and playing. But, what they didn't notice, at first anyway, was a very mysterious figure there in the background watching. Maybe we could say he was imposing or a real man among men, but no outsider would gather that on first glance. They might have thought very disagreeable thoughts about this man, that he was a drunkard, a bum, a loafer and that he hated women and only wanted to use them for gratifications the author of this sordid tale wouldn't care to go into at this time. But, Jenni and Eevawn wouldn't have cared about such things, because they liked mysterious bad boys that didn't fit into society's mold. But, as things sometimes go in stories like this, a girl will always notice a man that pays particular attention to her, and so Eevawn did. The mysterious and beefy figure of a man (at least in Eevawn's mind) stood gazing over the happy group as a father would with his watchful eye fixed on his little children at play. And, who would take notice of such a thing but a lonely girl looking for her knight in shining armor even if he was only a loafer living with his mother and probably vomited nightly after hours of consuming his choice of poisons and regularly beat his wife for all the misfortunes and trials and tribulations in his miscalculated life. But, let's not get redundant, ok?
"That man is looking at me," Eevawn thought. "I think he wants me." Of course, Eevawn had long ago given herself over to vain imaginings, but how could anyone blame her after the little boy in her second grade class told her how "kissy looking" her lips were?
"Come, Jenni," Eevawn said breaking away from the hand holding romp with the hippies and tugging at her carefree friend's arm. "Look, there is a beautiful figure of a man standing and watching us, and I want to meet him and be mesmerized by every fiber of his being and every word that proceeds from his mouth."
"But, I'm having so much fun with these people who clearly show so much love and appreciation for anyone that doesn't fit into society's mold even if they are smelly, drug addicted hippies who are socialists bordering on communists," Jenni groaned.
"We can let them brain wash us with their ridiculous and far-fetched philosophies later. But right now, I've got a man on my mind, and I don't care what I have to do to get on his good side," said Eevawn impatiently tugging away at Jenni's arm.
Before they knew it they were standing in front of this dark figure. As they stood in awe, there was a click and a small flame lit a cigarette and the man's face, you know, because it was getting dark, and the last beaming rays from the setting sun were shining from behind him to make it look more intriguing like in those movies where a dark mysterious figure is introduced into the plot. Anyway, his facial features were rugged and chiseled and every bit appealing to Eevawn, and even her friend Jenni thought so.
"Hi, girlies," he said through his cigarette. As he talked, it bobbed up and down in his mouth like a baited hook being tugged on by an unsuspecting, hungry fish. "Having fun, or not enough? Because I can remedy that, if you like."
Jenni and Eevawn giggled like silly school girls.
"My friend here wanted to meet you," Jenni said very bashfully all the while looking at the ground and drawing a semi circle with her foot in the smooth, red dirt. "Say something, Eevawn."
"Hi," was all Eevawn could get out, at first. Then, as if a floodgate had been opened that had held back the raging waters, she unleashed a multitude of words almost unintelligible to the mysterious man.
"Hey, girlie," he said. "I'm not catching your vibe with all that gibberish. Catch my drift, baby?"
"I'm sorry. I just get all mushy when it comes to a man like you," Eevawn said batting her eyelashes at the man. "May I ask your name?"
"Why not?" he said. "It's Jackie boy, and don't let it wear you out."
"Jackie boy," Eevawn repeated. "I think I'm in love."
You might think that it was Jackie boy's good looks and demeanor alone that had encouraged Eevawn's love to awaken in that lonely heart of hers. But, what the reader doesn't know is that Eevawn was already in love with a fellow by the name of Jack Kerouac, (obsessed might be the word) and, somehow, she had tricked her mind into believing that Jackie boy was in fact Jack Kerouac himself. Could it be, though? Of course, this could only happen in such a fairy tale as this since the aforementioned fellow had been dead for years, but read on to the end to find out the startling conclusion to this rather syrupy tale, if you dare. Oh, and in case you've never heard of the name Jack Kerouac, don't feel bad, because most people haven't. After all, why would anyone be interested in a guy that was a drunkard, a bum, a loafer and hated women and only wanted to use them for gratifications the author of this sordid tale wouldn't care to go into and was living with his mother and probably vomited nightly after hours of consuming gallons of whiskey and malt liquor (said poisons) and regularly beat his wife for all the misfortunes and trials and tribulations in his miscalculated life and wrote really bad poetry and books about living in box cars with other smelly beatnik poets? That definitely would classify as a mouthful, huh? But, let's not get redundant, ok? Anyway, back to the story at hand.
"Well, girlie," Jackie boy said. "Things don't come free around here. At least not me."
"What do you mean?" Eevawn asked taken aback by that matter of fact statement. Wasn't it share and share alike? Of course, she never would share a prize catch like this. And, of course, this was going to be something that was all to her own. And, of course again, as was stated before (or, was it stated before?), she was all for socialism and stuff like that...if it was somebody else that was contributing, you know, like most liberals feel. But, let's not disparage the girl. After all, we just met her, right? Give her a chance, as they say.
"Well, baby," the man said in his best beatnik fashion, "It's not easy to be my girl. You're gonna have to do something to prove you're worthy."
"Anything, Jackie boy," Eevawn said. "Anything for you. You're the kind of man that makes a girl give it all up."
Again, in his beatnik fashion he said, "Well, baby.You ever see that James Bond movie where he's in Istanbul and the gypsy girls wrestle for his affection?"
Eevawn nodded yes, and Jackie boy proceeded to explain to her that to win his love she was going to have to wrestle the toughest gypsy girl in the bunch-Esmeralda. Eevawn hesitated trying to think of something to convince him otherwise. But, why not she thought. She was a warrior princess, well, in her mind anyway, and she felt she could wrestle the hide off a pig if she had to.
Then, without anymore hesitation, Eevawn blurted out her answer. "Anything, Jackie boy. Anything for you. I'd climb the highest mountain or swim the deepest sea for a man like you."
"I've heard it all before, baby. No need to sweet talk me with that syrupy tripe."
"I was just trying to win your affection, first," Eevawn said in that dejected fashion that had once before saturated her with a feeling of helplessness after having fallen madly in love with a boy who thought he was Harry Potter. How sad she was the day he told her that he couldn't love her, because he had a greater mission in life. And, that mission was to save the world from the evil wizard Lord Fuzzybutts. It was a sad day indeed, too, when she got the news that he fell to his death after attempting to fly by jumping off the highest point of the Porta Nigra ( the Black Gate for those concerned ) on a broom handle.
"Cool it, baby. You ain't the first to try, and you won't be the last."
Just then, a menacing looking woman in a red and tattered dress with a split in the skirt all the way up to the hip and a red strip of cloth tied around her head holding back massive amounts of jet black, tangled hair came up.
"Ok, Jackie boy," she said. "I'm ready for some action."
"This girlie thinks she's got what it takes to latch on to me the way you women were made to believe that you were meant to latch onto me. Give a little taste of what that's gonna be like, Esmeralda."
"Sure, Jackie boy. She won't know which way is up or down when I get done with her," Esmeralda said as she grabbed Eevawn by the arm and dragged her out into the opening where everyone in the hippie camp had gathered around to watch the grand spectacle of a match. Eevawn had no choice, now, but to go along with Esmeralda. She had such a strong grip around Eevawn's arm, and there was no breaking away from this man of a woman.
Before long, they were both opposite each other and crouching down with fists and arms at the ready. Esmeralda made the first move, and before Eevawn knew it, she was down on the ground with Esmeralda on top shoving dirt in her mouth. Eevawn choked on the mouthful, but saw a slight opening between her and the gypsy woman. She slammed her knee into Esmeralda's crotch, and the mammoth woman fell over clutching at herself as if the very life were draining from her veins.
"No fair," Esmeralda choked out. "You hit below the belt."
"I'm dirty that way, Essie," Eevawn said in between spitting out clumps of earth. "That'll teach you not to mess with me, girlie." Then, Eevawn jumped on top of her foe, and with one felled swoop knocked her opponent unconscious. She jumped up to the cheering, thronging crowd and brushed herself off all the while being ushered into the presence of the man whose affection she had just won.
"Well done, baby," Jackie boy said. "Now, I got a little surprise for you."
Jackie boy reached under his jaw and pulled away and upward at the skin slowly revealing, to the horror of Eevawn, another face underneath those handsomely chiseled features she had instantly fallen in love with only an hour ago.
"How do you like it?" he said when the new face was completely revealed.
"No, it can't be. Not you!" Eevawn screamed. She knew that face instantly. It was a face that she had come to hate and for no reason at all. She was just that way. One little thought could change her mind about someone, and that one little thought could grow into something big until there was no turning back. But, she didn't worry about turning back, because the man that that face belonged to wasn't worth it to her.
"No, it can't be you," she screamed again. "I've come so far to get the man of my dreams, and it's you?"
"Yes, me! Jaimz! How do you like me now, huh, girlie?" He threw his head back and laughed in that mad fashion that villains usually do in those movies where they reveal their evil plans or weaken the super hero to the point of absolute helplessness with a rock of kryptonite.
Eevawn fell on her knees and beat the ground with her fist all the while screaming like a banshee on a midnight death flight. What is the moral of this story you ask? What does it have to do with a nose ring and a black gate? Nothing really.Those things were just added as an attention grabber, if that sort of thing grabs your attention. But, let's not get redundant, ok? Oh, who is Jaimz, you ask? Why, he's none other than the author of this perilous tale of woe. Only, he spells his name J-a-m-e-s, you know just in case you were wondering. And, as far as the moral of the story? Well, you make up your mind about that.
The end.
So, as things usually went, or go (oops), with the two girls, they set off on the adventure of the day. And as fate would have it, they went frolicking through the woods searching for the lost land of the hippies that they so adored and thought was the answer to all mankind's ills. And, not surprisingly, they found just what they were looking for. There they were, hippies, beatniks and gypsies all leaping about like long haired gnomes high on mind altering drugs and laughing and singing songs about how they got over on "the man" and also songs about "what's mine is yours and what's yours is mine even your wife". Jenni and Eevawn merrily made their way to the raucous but cheery group. They were so excited about joining in on the festive activities and jollity,and the group of misfits openly welcomed them, because they readily accepted them without question.
Jenni and Eevawn had so much fun joining hands with the merry bunch and dancing and singing and laughing and playing. But, what they didn't notice, at first anyway, was a very mysterious figure there in the background watching. Maybe we could say he was imposing or a real man among men, but no outsider would gather that on first glance. They might have thought very disagreeable thoughts about this man, that he was a drunkard, a bum, a loafer and that he hated women and only wanted to use them for gratifications the author of this sordid tale wouldn't care to go into at this time. But, Jenni and Eevawn wouldn't have cared about such things, because they liked mysterious bad boys that didn't fit into society's mold. But, as things sometimes go in stories like this, a girl will always notice a man that pays particular attention to her, and so Eevawn did. The mysterious and beefy figure of a man (at least in Eevawn's mind) stood gazing over the happy group as a father would with his watchful eye fixed on his little children at play. And, who would take notice of such a thing but a lonely girl looking for her knight in shining armor even if he was only a loafer living with his mother and probably vomited nightly after hours of consuming his choice of poisons and regularly beat his wife for all the misfortunes and trials and tribulations in his miscalculated life. But, let's not get redundant, ok?
"That man is looking at me," Eevawn thought. "I think he wants me." Of course, Eevawn had long ago given herself over to vain imaginings, but how could anyone blame her after the little boy in her second grade class told her how "kissy looking" her lips were?
"Come, Jenni," Eevawn said breaking away from the hand holding romp with the hippies and tugging at her carefree friend's arm. "Look, there is a beautiful figure of a man standing and watching us, and I want to meet him and be mesmerized by every fiber of his being and every word that proceeds from his mouth."
"But, I'm having so much fun with these people who clearly show so much love and appreciation for anyone that doesn't fit into society's mold even if they are smelly, drug addicted hippies who are socialists bordering on communists," Jenni groaned.
"We can let them brain wash us with their ridiculous and far-fetched philosophies later. But right now, I've got a man on my mind, and I don't care what I have to do to get on his good side," said Eevawn impatiently tugging away at Jenni's arm.
Before they knew it they were standing in front of this dark figure. As they stood in awe, there was a click and a small flame lit a cigarette and the man's face, you know, because it was getting dark, and the last beaming rays from the setting sun were shining from behind him to make it look more intriguing like in those movies where a dark mysterious figure is introduced into the plot. Anyway, his facial features were rugged and chiseled and every bit appealing to Eevawn, and even her friend Jenni thought so.
"Hi, girlies," he said through his cigarette. As he talked, it bobbed up and down in his mouth like a baited hook being tugged on by an unsuspecting, hungry fish. "Having fun, or not enough? Because I can remedy that, if you like."
Jenni and Eevawn giggled like silly school girls.
"My friend here wanted to meet you," Jenni said very bashfully all the while looking at the ground and drawing a semi circle with her foot in the smooth, red dirt. "Say something, Eevawn."
"Hi," was all Eevawn could get out, at first. Then, as if a floodgate had been opened that had held back the raging waters, she unleashed a multitude of words almost unintelligible to the mysterious man.
"Hey, girlie," he said. "I'm not catching your vibe with all that gibberish. Catch my drift, baby?"
"I'm sorry. I just get all mushy when it comes to a man like you," Eevawn said batting her eyelashes at the man. "May I ask your name?"
"Why not?" he said. "It's Jackie boy, and don't let it wear you out."
"Jackie boy," Eevawn repeated. "I think I'm in love."
You might think that it was Jackie boy's good looks and demeanor alone that had encouraged Eevawn's love to awaken in that lonely heart of hers. But, what the reader doesn't know is that Eevawn was already in love with a fellow by the name of Jack Kerouac, (obsessed might be the word) and, somehow, she had tricked her mind into believing that Jackie boy was in fact Jack Kerouac himself. Could it be, though? Of course, this could only happen in such a fairy tale as this since the aforementioned fellow had been dead for years, but read on to the end to find out the startling conclusion to this rather syrupy tale, if you dare. Oh, and in case you've never heard of the name Jack Kerouac, don't feel bad, because most people haven't. After all, why would anyone be interested in a guy that was a drunkard, a bum, a loafer and hated women and only wanted to use them for gratifications the author of this sordid tale wouldn't care to go into and was living with his mother and probably vomited nightly after hours of consuming gallons of whiskey and malt liquor (said poisons) and regularly beat his wife for all the misfortunes and trials and tribulations in his miscalculated life and wrote really bad poetry and books about living in box cars with other smelly beatnik poets? That definitely would classify as a mouthful, huh? But, let's not get redundant, ok? Anyway, back to the story at hand.
"Well, girlie," Jackie boy said. "Things don't come free around here. At least not me."
"What do you mean?" Eevawn asked taken aback by that matter of fact statement. Wasn't it share and share alike? Of course, she never would share a prize catch like this. And, of course, this was going to be something that was all to her own. And, of course again, as was stated before (or, was it stated before?), she was all for socialism and stuff like that...if it was somebody else that was contributing, you know, like most liberals feel. But, let's not disparage the girl. After all, we just met her, right? Give her a chance, as they say.
"Well, baby," the man said in his best beatnik fashion, "It's not easy to be my girl. You're gonna have to do something to prove you're worthy."
"Anything, Jackie boy," Eevawn said. "Anything for you. You're the kind of man that makes a girl give it all up."
Again, in his beatnik fashion he said, "Well, baby.You ever see that James Bond movie where he's in Istanbul and the gypsy girls wrestle for his affection?"
Eevawn nodded yes, and Jackie boy proceeded to explain to her that to win his love she was going to have to wrestle the toughest gypsy girl in the bunch-Esmeralda. Eevawn hesitated trying to think of something to convince him otherwise. But, why not she thought. She was a warrior princess, well, in her mind anyway, and she felt she could wrestle the hide off a pig if she had to.
Then, without anymore hesitation, Eevawn blurted out her answer. "Anything, Jackie boy. Anything for you. I'd climb the highest mountain or swim the deepest sea for a man like you."
"I've heard it all before, baby. No need to sweet talk me with that syrupy tripe."
"I was just trying to win your affection, first," Eevawn said in that dejected fashion that had once before saturated her with a feeling of helplessness after having fallen madly in love with a boy who thought he was Harry Potter. How sad she was the day he told her that he couldn't love her, because he had a greater mission in life. And, that mission was to save the world from the evil wizard Lord Fuzzybutts. It was a sad day indeed, too, when she got the news that he fell to his death after attempting to fly by jumping off the highest point of the Porta Nigra ( the Black Gate for those concerned ) on a broom handle.
"Cool it, baby. You ain't the first to try, and you won't be the last."
Just then, a menacing looking woman in a red and tattered dress with a split in the skirt all the way up to the hip and a red strip of cloth tied around her head holding back massive amounts of jet black, tangled hair came up.
"Ok, Jackie boy," she said. "I'm ready for some action."
"This girlie thinks she's got what it takes to latch on to me the way you women were made to believe that you were meant to latch onto me. Give a little taste of what that's gonna be like, Esmeralda."
"Sure, Jackie boy. She won't know which way is up or down when I get done with her," Esmeralda said as she grabbed Eevawn by the arm and dragged her out into the opening where everyone in the hippie camp had gathered around to watch the grand spectacle of a match. Eevawn had no choice, now, but to go along with Esmeralda. She had such a strong grip around Eevawn's arm, and there was no breaking away from this man of a woman.
Before long, they were both opposite each other and crouching down with fists and arms at the ready. Esmeralda made the first move, and before Eevawn knew it, she was down on the ground with Esmeralda on top shoving dirt in her mouth. Eevawn choked on the mouthful, but saw a slight opening between her and the gypsy woman. She slammed her knee into Esmeralda's crotch, and the mammoth woman fell over clutching at herself as if the very life were draining from her veins.
"No fair," Esmeralda choked out. "You hit below the belt."
"I'm dirty that way, Essie," Eevawn said in between spitting out clumps of earth. "That'll teach you not to mess with me, girlie." Then, Eevawn jumped on top of her foe, and with one felled swoop knocked her opponent unconscious. She jumped up to the cheering, thronging crowd and brushed herself off all the while being ushered into the presence of the man whose affection she had just won.
"Well done, baby," Jackie boy said. "Now, I got a little surprise for you."
Jackie boy reached under his jaw and pulled away and upward at the skin slowly revealing, to the horror of Eevawn, another face underneath those handsomely chiseled features she had instantly fallen in love with only an hour ago.
"How do you like it?" he said when the new face was completely revealed.
"No, it can't be. Not you!" Eevawn screamed. She knew that face instantly. It was a face that she had come to hate and for no reason at all. She was just that way. One little thought could change her mind about someone, and that one little thought could grow into something big until there was no turning back. But, she didn't worry about turning back, because the man that that face belonged to wasn't worth it to her.
"No, it can't be you," she screamed again. "I've come so far to get the man of my dreams, and it's you?"
"Yes, me! Jaimz! How do you like me now, huh, girlie?" He threw his head back and laughed in that mad fashion that villains usually do in those movies where they reveal their evil plans or weaken the super hero to the point of absolute helplessness with a rock of kryptonite.
Eevawn fell on her knees and beat the ground with her fist all the while screaming like a banshee on a midnight death flight. What is the moral of this story you ask? What does it have to do with a nose ring and a black gate? Nothing really.Those things were just added as an attention grabber, if that sort of thing grabs your attention. But, let's not get redundant, ok? Oh, who is Jaimz, you ask? Why, he's none other than the author of this perilous tale of woe. Only, he spells his name J-a-m-e-s, you know just in case you were wondering. And, as far as the moral of the story? Well, you make up your mind about that.
The end.